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"House training's not so bad - you soon get used to it and, if you play your cards right, you'll get lots of treats."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

Dog Basket - I consent to petting.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

'I'm sorry about the slippers...but I do need the roghage.'

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Ears up - wag that tail - soulful expression - he is YOURS!'

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

Dog Chow Mein

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

Canine Tours