Puppy Pamperers T-Shirts

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'

Dogs at the vets - "What exactly does 'being seen to' mean?"

'I can't lick my itchy bum, but I have amazing hearing!'

'My new bed has an orthopedic mattress, a built in water dish, and a privacy curtain, If only it was up on the people bed,,,it would be perfect,'

"Boy is she mad at me! I licked her face, so she's gone back inside to apply her make-up: she has a job interview this morning..."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

I guess she had other plans for you.

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

Dogs shaving

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Dog on man's stair lift

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"Fill it up!"

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

'I'll fetch your newspaper and your pipe, but the slippers thing is just too kinky.'

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'