Puppet Fan Pillows

OK, let me try to explain it to you this way.

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

'It's the gay version.'

Cowboy distracting his opponent with a hand puppet.

'If I really knew anything, would I be here with somebody's hand up my ass?'

'Look Pinocchio! I told you it's not all bad!'

Bashing french speaking Canadians just makes you look like a proper moron.

Pinochio's dad hammering nails in to Pinochio's bottom

'Wireless technology.'

'My 'friend' has this problem, Doctor!'

Philip Schofield's recent troubles (Gordon the gopher).

'Student Driver'

"He doesn't have fingers, so he uses voice recognition to text."

"Sounds like termites."

A Puppet Named Juan

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

Leslie Caron.

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'He does.'

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

'I meant a book report on 'Treasure Island,' not a report on the Muppet movie version.'

Ventriloquist Grave

"I don't know, do you think we evolved from the sock monkey?"

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Just reading the minutes back will be sufficient.'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'