Punsters Unite Mugs

Watering Can

Dogs life

Tequila Mockingbird

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"White Collar Prison"

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

You're Out Of Order

Hamlet.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Are you guilty or not guilty? What happens if I plead guilty?

"Seats in all parts!"

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

"This is a very bad sign!"

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

Writers strike.

Fart. Le Poot.

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."

'True, you've been assigned a nobody lawyer but you're a nobody criminal!'

"This is a letter from your teacher. Are you seriously eating your own homework?"

"Do you think there might be a bitcoin in it?"

'I'm here for trying to keep my nose clean. I got caught stealing a packet of tissues.'

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

Karat Stew - 'I think it needs more bullion.'

"I blame his old careers teacher myself, it was him who suggested he did a bank job."

"In 1,000 feet, you're still lost."

"There are essentially four basic forms for a joke."