Punny Poisoners T-Shirts

"So... you've decided to turn your neurons into morons."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

Dogs life

Chicken soup for the sole.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Happy Hog - Manet

Artistic License

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"We've managed to cut down the 16 pills you're taking to just one!"

Molecules You Ought To Be Aware of:

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

Fart. Le Poot.

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

Happy Hour 5-6, but don't read a lot into it.

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

"Find out who set up this experiment. It seems that half of the patients were given a placebo, and the other half were given a different placebo."

Fisherman.

Standup Chemist: 'So he comes back into the room, he turns around, he puts the chicken on the table and he says, 'all right, potassium chloride'.'

Weight and Fortune.

Unlike other places, around here "take a load off" means "get back to work."

I hope that's not a prescription for another placebo, Dr. Kapuchnik. Frankly, Al, you've proven that you can't handle a placebo. This is a prescription for a fake placebo.

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

"Duffer, Penny, Bailey & Coco. Attorneys at Gnaw."

"I'd like to let you go, Willy, but this is your third offense."

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

"I blame his old careers teacher myself, it was him who suggested he did a bank job."

Breakfast Ideas. I fixed the cable box during this cooking show. I unscrambled the eggs!

"You gotta be kidding me... A Triceratops? Last week it was a Stegosaurus and a Pterodactyl the week before but never a Tyrannosaurus."

"Since you tithed from the 'net' and not the 'gross', you're going to Hog Heaven instead."

"I think you just discovered a great visual metaphor for panic!"