Pun Appreciation T-Shirts

"Oh, how sweet of you."

'What a bargain!'

'I'm in a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. There's not enough dirt left to grow spinach.'

"Of course, it's 'new money'! I just printed it!!"

Scrambler.

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Antisocial distancing

'Shall I be moth?'

Don't binge and drive.

'Yes, this is 'Hooters'. What were you expecting?'

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

'Let me know when you want me to help you get your rocks off.'

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"High Fashion"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Staff support"

Copycats

Zombie standup

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Talk nerdy to me."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'