Publishing Punster T-Shirts

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Intelligent people laugh too!

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Sweep the board.

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

Dogs life

K9 Literati

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Tequila Mockingbird

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."