Publishing Professional Mugs

'I find your whole story difficult to swallow,' Literary Agent.

Gutenberg

"Dear Miss Philpott, aren't you excited to be part of a ground breaking experiment in desktop publishing?"

"Now this is what I call a true work of genius. . . And I haven't even read it yet."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

First Novels.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Gay Times...

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Thesaurus Publishing: Out, Not here, Gone, Absent.