Publicity Perfectionist T-Shirts

'This is strictly off the record...'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Yoga for Alcoholics

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

"Could you keep still?"

"I’ve seen better metaphors in my litter box."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"