Publicity Hunter T-Shirts

"I'm quitting your defense team. The pretrial publicity isn't up to my expectations."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

JET (Part I)

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Do you think now's a good time to ask for a raise?' - 'I wouldn't if I was you. She gave me one this morning.'

'Burke's B-list celebrities.'

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

YOU ARE HERE

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

The company's marketing strategy became increasingly sophisticated.

Man milks a book.

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

'I'll have a big bonus please.'

"You've got to blurb me to her."

"You are, without a doubt, the worst publicist I've ever had!"

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

Media Darling.

As Seen On TV

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

'Take me to see Max Clifford'