Public Transport Pillows

'Let's build all possible variants and see which one turns out to be the cheapest to run!'

"Hold my hand and we can use the carpool lane."

Manspreading.

Train Timetable: "If I were you I'd get a car."

"At this time I'd like to welcome our gold-medallion passengers on board."

'Watch out for the queue-jumper. Pass it on.'

"Don't make eye contact..."

'...I didn't think you'd get on the bus to tell me.'

Waiting and waiting and waiting room

Replacement Bus Service

"I know it's yesterday's ticket! - That's when I got on this bloody train!"

'When I started this journey I was a curate.'

Information desk manned by a fortune teller.

'Clapham, please.'

The Optimist

Hop on and Hop off sign on the side of a bus

'I heard riding the bus was better for the environment so I bought us each one!'

'Been waiting long?'

'I didn't tell him how to drive. I just made a few suggestions.'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

'That's the trouble with this country - one snowflake and everything grinds to a halt!'

"Can you try that stop again? Some of the pensioners on board are still standing."

"Oh, come on!"

A Rhombus.

No Talking on the Train.

Bus stop in the desert - 'It wouldn't hurt to wait around for a little while.'

Next Train Arrival: You're better off walking

'Oh, the magic carpets are just for backup.'

Replacement Bus Spotters.

Driver under instruction

'He's been back packing around India and doesn't he want everyone to know it.'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

Train ride simulator.

A Train Conductor.

Commuter Questionnaire