Pta Meeting Strategist Pillows

"But dear, I have to attend all the school meetings. Otherwise I get volunteered for committees."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Do you think we should look again at who we invite to these meetings?"

"Always be a team player...that way there's always someone around to blame."

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'We'll also need to do a credit/blame analysis.'

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

"I like to stay on top of things."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

'The trick is to make them feel better about themselves without actually paying them any better...'

Potter is going to go far, unless I manage to stop him.

'Speak up, Fenwick - I can hardly hear you!'

'We've been looking into absences at our meetings and it turns out that Nigel died in 2006 and Trevor never actually worked here!'

'It's a win-win, but a win-win-win would be better.'

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence,

"Here comes the other team...that's their coach, strength train, game strategist and sports psychologist."

"This better be important."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

This stuff fixes things at home, why not here?

'A limited partnership? It means you can't sue or skim.'

'You can get into enough trouble just in Geneva -- no way you're going to a summit conference in LAS VEGAS!'

'I've got a good idea to improve the team.'

Wrong leadership.

'Hello, Mrs. Horton? Could you please stop by school this afternoon?'

"I avoid stress by delegating it all to my staff."

"This department needs to communicate more effectively and be more honesty with each other."

'Our company's philosophy is thus. Our idealists develop ideas. Internal realists then turn these ideas into products. Finally, external realists devise pretexts for consumers to buy these products.'

"Do you realize that the only change we have had, in this school, is in our school telephone number?"