Psychologists Prints

"I'm right there in the room, and no one even acknowledges me."

Rorschach's parents

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

Four Types of Test-Takers...

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

I'll bark, and you bark the first thing that comes to mine.'

'I have excellence fatigue.'

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

Anger management class

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life..."

'And how old were you when your mother first called you a scaredy cat.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

Interdisciplinary studies.

'Ignore me, it's just my nut allergy.'

'Not only will it help him concentrate, but recent studies have shown that students who take Ritalin are 40 less likely to do drugs.'

'The voices in my head are saying that you're overcharging me.'

'I'm scared that there's a fat woman outside of me trying to get in.'

'Maybe the Oboe wasn't the best choice for a hoedown.'

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

Amnesiacs Convention.

"When I google myself, the only thing that comes up is my arrest record."

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"I suspect he might be depressed, let's give him a label and see whether a few years of unemployment and poverty helps his condition!"

"What makes you think Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and all that bunch are so happy?"

"That's my best advice to you, Mr. Gilbert. Try not to reject it out of hand simply because it also happens to be Mike Lupica's advice to the Mets."

"You're completely screwed up."

Don't Take No For an Answer

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"I seem to grasp things with my hands and feet but not with my head."

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am Batman."

"I find myself correcting people a lot lately."

Albert Einstein Tells A Joke. . .

"It's such a nice day!"