Provocation Pursuer Pillows

"Hmm... I wonder what I can find to trigger my self-righteous indignation today..?"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Upward Progress

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

She required plenty of personal space.

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

Noise Pollution

Money is the Root of all Evil.

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

The March to the Top

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."

'The Karma of the marketplace is about to overwhelm the Dogma of policy making,'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

'And along with your promotion you get a key to the executive bedroom.'

'Why was I passed over for the C.F.O. position?'

'Honey. . . I'm ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.'

'How do you propose to support my daughter on the earnings of a tooth fairy?'

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

'Just a minute Simkins, I have that letter of application for promotion here somewhere...'

The idea of a wo-man cave was looking better and better.

'I want to reach the number one spot at Google.'

BNP legality response to court ruling.

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"The key to happiness is privacy. Hear what I'm sayin'?"

'Do I have to spell it out for you?'

'ANOTHER fatwah?! Who have you been sharing your thoughts with this time?'

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

1986 is my year