Proud Mom-to-be T-Shirts

Mary, remember that you're pregnant and are now eating for 2,000.

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"So! When's the big day?"

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

Maternity Hospital

"Mum, we had sex-education at school today: is that really what happened to Daddy?!"

'You were a ten month baby. The postman brought you.'

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"Six down, three to go!!"

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

'A work in Progress.'

'Come watch TV with me, Mom. This movie is for young and old.'

"So how is being a new mum treating you?"

"Juding by your expression, your mom made kale for dinner."

Eat your vegetables

"My favorite painting? That's like asking who's my favorite child. It's Michael."

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

'Apparently this is called 'Nesting'.'

"It's a birthing position, Dan. Quit yelling 'Hike.'"

"Pregnant? I just thought I went off my diet!"