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'Your mother wears combat boots!'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'Baby's first two-step.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'She posted her first blog today.'

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

Mary, remember that you're pregnant and are now eating for 2,000.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

"He looks just like your husband."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'Three kids, full-time job, night classes and coaches a girls basketball team. She's stretched a little thin.'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."