Proud Grandma Gifts

"Mom, when you want some privacy wear this. No one will come within 20 feet of you!"

"I'm prescribing my mother for your insomnia. She'll call you tonight to talk about her grandchildren."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

"He looks just like your husband."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'