Proud Dog Owner Gifts

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Dog Walking Services

'That was fun!'

Impressing dad.

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Children's artwork exhibition.

Love a Mutt

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

Epic Battles

'She posted her first blog today.'

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."