Protein Paradox Lover Pillows

"It's my new idea! A veggie burger stuffed with tasty meat."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

'Are we having fun yet?'

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

Barrister asking a witness to produce burnt papers

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

The Meaning of Life

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

Low Carb Dieter Birthdays - diving for meat from the pinata.

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

'Chef's salad as ordered.'

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

'The last thing he said was 'I'm going to go look up the work 'Dictionary' in the dictionary,' and then the universe kind of collapsed around him,'

Grenadiers

"We have ways of making you say yes, but I want you to want to say yes."

The Atkins Diet.

I'm sick and tired of this low carb diet.

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

"Where hard boiled eggs end up."

"Eighty percent polyester."

European Thinkers (2): 'Surf's up!'

Right Against Right.

"Carl had the mouth of a truck driver... Sorry, Carl, I just can't make no sense from all those words comin’ out your pie hole. A truck driver with a Ph.D. in mathematical logic."

Zeno Gives Directions

Less curds, more whey. Middle-aged Miss Muffet.

'Say that again and you're a dead man!'

'The doctor told me to get away for a while..Where I live, in the country, it's just too quiet for me, so I've come here for a vacation.'

The City that Never Sleeps.

National Paradox Foundation: We're closed come in.

'Geeez! One day, we'll all get killed by that unhealthy stuff!'

Fastest slowest animal