Proposal Gurus Gifts

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

'If that's a proposal, I accept!'

"See what I mean? It's going to take a bigger diamond."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

Graph leads down into egg with a big crack.

Stupid ideas rewritten to sound like brilliant concepts.

'Throw in your iPad and you've got a deal.'

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

"It's hard to manage a staff meeting in a company whose employees all have laser pointers."

'Great visual support.'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

'When I wake up, remind me to give you a few tips on how to make your presentations a little more dynamic.'

Pie Charts.

Ann was shocked and awed when the General kissed her after her presentation and she wondered if he'd heard a word she'd said.

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

'It has undergone a thorough research programme. I've shown it to my wife and her sister.'

"Well, I like you alright, but they can't stand you...So forget it."

'Your presentation on the advantages of e-commerce would've been better had it not been for the use of the word 'dude' 183 times.'

'So - any more comments, other than 'it looks a bit like a tortoise'?'