Property Pun Enthusiasts T-Shirts

' We're last time buyers...'

"... It's a housing bubble."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Look, son, real estate."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Home Sweet Second Home.

Mouse real estate!

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

House hunting is cruel.

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

'This is close enough.'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

Dog Realtor

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."