Promotions Expert Pillows

'Andy, I want you to put on this clown outfit and hand out balloons today.'

'How fast can you hype?'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Career opportunities

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'Underestimate him at your own risk. When he first came here, everybody laughed and said he didn't have a snowball's chance. Now he's our regional supervisor. Go figure!'

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"Excellent Simons, I admire a 'yes' man who's not afraid to say 'yes'."

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

"The firm is always appointed above competence levels, you topped out at paperclip."

"We couldn't give you a bigger office, so we shrunk everything down to make it appear bigger."

'I'm getting the shrimp - it sounds really yummy!'

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"You'll get an office, a pay increase and a set of bad nicknames from your colleagues."

"Our problem is we upgraded everything in the new version except the hype."

'Our Monday night '90-off wine night' isn't exactly working wonders for Tuesday thru Saturday.'

'I've been made junior partner.'

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

'This new role will involve some extra responsibilities...of course you'll appreciate that there won't be any extra funding...it's a role for which you are uniquely qualified!'

"I should've expected this when my boss said I was moving up."

'Bon Bons Away!'

The Copywriter's Dilemma

"Contested elections are ALWAYS problematic...but I'd like reassure you that even though the partners chose me on this occasion."

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

"Big promotion for you Khanna - from Data Scientist to Big Data Scientist."

"Since the promotion, my husband has gotten a big head."

'Have you managed to persuade Tiddles to use the new cat-flap yet Dear?'

"To be honest, nobody wants to buy your paintings... we need a promotional strategy! Cut off your ear in public!"