Promotion To Restaurant Manager Mugs

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"