Promotion Optimists Gifts

'Ma, I didn't get the raise, but I'm now the vice president in charge of empty cans and bottles!'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

That shows business confidence.

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

"I love your optimism."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

"It all looks fine to me."

'You don't get a raise with this promotion, but you do get to call your work area a 'work station' instead of a 'cubicle.''

'You are smarter, faster and more efficient than Carter... they's why I'm making you the new assistant to Carter!'

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

Highway of Life. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.

"I already GAVE you a raise, three weeks from now!"

'Okay, people... The name of the game is Musical Cubicles! The winner gets to be the new district manager! Ready... set... GO!!'

Recycling Depot - Magazines, Newspapers, Free CDs, books, 8 page pull-outs and other promotions

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"You'll get an office, a pay increase and a set of bad nicknames from your colleagues."

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'I've been made junior partner.'

'All work and no play may make you dull, but it also makes you Vice President.'

'Edna, the company was serious when it said it planned on promoting from within.'

'Normally, I would appreciate your never-say-die-attitude...'

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

'What the hell is that guy's problem?'

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."

Don't jump! Just think what it will do to your wife and kids not to mention your career as a motivational speaker!