Project People Pillows

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

Empty box of ideas

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

Bright Idea

'Come on, come on, let's work together!'

D.I.Y

Deadline

"Well, I've finished the project on time and on budget!" "That means I've given you too much time and too much money!"

'The Federal Government today authorized a ten-year study of all its five-year studies.'

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"Well, we can tackle this now when we're exhausted from the week or wait until Monday when we're exhausted from the weekend."

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."

'It would be just like my husband not to like the color.'

Self-Employment

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

"When does the improvement part of this improvement project kick in?"

"I gave you 24 hours to review and report on the Internet in thirty words or less. Now let's have it."

Hour Glass

'I can explain - I'm doing a school project on the breaking-point of glass . . .'

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

Wait! It might be cheaper to just knock it down and build from scratch.

"You are looking at our future billion dollar building extension..."

'I've been riding small, fast bikes for awhile. I thought it was time to build a bigger motorcycle.'

"Remember, we've got to dig down together as a team to create the right foundation that will benefit this entire project as a hole."

Worker sees clock which says: In case of impossible deadline, break glass.

Super Homeworld

"Did you hear? Melinda Alvarez, the smartest girl in school, made an ice cream machine for her science project and then shared it with all her teachers! What did you make, Gracie?"