Prohibition Enthusiast T-Shirts

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

The Elliot Ness monster.

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Newt sale

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

Martini Lovers

The truth about the expulsion from paradise. . .

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

Wine Talking