Progressive Parent Mugs

"Don't you think he should be in a more progressive dog park?"

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"He just said his first word!"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

People and robots

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"Be afraid to try new things!"

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

Baby, baby maker

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

Snacks for Learners

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'