Progress Pundit T-Shirts

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

"The days of horse and carriage appear to be numbered."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Quality Control

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Where does it all end up?

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Obama Healthcare.

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'It's cheaper than gas.'