Profit Projector Pillows

'It was gravity after this point.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Annual profits,

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

ACME Balloon Company.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Let's Celebrate

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

Business cartoon showing sales declining so much that they bounce off the floor.

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

"And this is where we all gave up."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

"Oh, I can't complain"

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."