Professional Shearer Pillows

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'Sheep striptease'.

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

Virgin wool - 'Clippers On a first date What kind of ewe do you think I am'

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

Cat with all the hair he has ever shed

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

"Would you look at that! Timmy was overwhelmed at the thought of his first shearing, but now, he can't stop talking to his friends about it. . ."

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

Celebrating Spring Can Be Shear Hell

'Just the usual, thanks.'

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

Wool jumpers: Meet the author

'Oh Darling, I just love the smell of your new aftershave...'

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

It's not a rip in the space-time continuum, Ernie --- Just in the newspaper.

Down at the Local Baa-Baa Shop

'Every year I say, 'Just a little of the top' but they never listen.'

'Abandon Sheep.'

"Will you be posting this on ewe tube?"

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

"Oh, he's been counting sheep-shearing shows."

In and out trays for ironing.