Professional Enhancer Prints

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

Ego Increasing School

"I see a beautiful future ahead for you in the private sector."

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

"Our training program was too successful. Twenty employees used their new skills to leave the company for better jobs."

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."

"Supersize me."

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.

Test dummies holding 'Kama Sutra For Dummies' manual.

Breast Implants: 'Watch this Space.'

Institute (brain).

'Well, what seems to be the problem?'

'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

'It's my wife's reminder to put the toilet seat down.'

Sex Shop

"Are you sure this sport is now drug free?"

Vinnie's Tanning Salon.

This is my report on my summer vacation, and that's my script doctor, Murray, who helped me punch it up a bit.

Botox injections

'I'm afraid we're going to ask you to take a urine test, David'

"Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you no longer own him."

"Take the green pill to feel hunky, the yellow pill to feel dory."

Moses and the Screenwriter: 'Accurate-Shmaccurate...if you want this story to sell, it needs some punching up.'

'I'm flattered by your imitation, unless you just want to be taller than me.'

I've got to fight through my creative malaise. I've come up with a list of ways to eke out more money from customers. Let's hear 'em. Charge for extra pads of butter. It's okay, but it's boring. Right. How about: raise coffee prices; sell only day-old pastries; turn off the lights to save electricity ... Boring, boring, boring. Require people to make their own drinks? C'mon, you're not even trying.

'Carlisle, is it true that you've been wearing elevator shoes?'

"We need a bigger doghouse."

"There's not a lot I can do for you, Mr. Wilkinson, except maybe to suggest trying built up shoes."

'You won't find a better deal. Not for frameless.'

'You know, Eno, it's ok if you lie a little on your online dating profile.'