Professional Dabbler Mugs

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Socially distanced sledding

Chief Foreign Policy Advisor to President Obama.

My first mistake.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

Practice Pigs at the Gene Farm

The Screeeen!

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

'I was going to hunt for them. Then I thought hey - why not just clone new ones!'

'What was the question?'

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

Biolab. I put collie DNA into a shark. I got a fish that still bites --- but then it goes for help.

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

I was having fun making log letters when someone asked "why?" So I Qui

'I've got to get in shape. I visited a fitness website and now I'm sore.'

A knitter's in and out boxes

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

'Our 'Resolution Membership' is a no-obligation contract, complete with unscheduled workouts and spotty routines that fit anyone with weak, annual ambitions.'

'It's just a first draft.'

Lost Property Trust - For the careless investor.

Genetically enhanced height

Toy boat on a tsunami.

DANGER - hook and worm...!