Productivity T-Shirts

"I can't remember - do I work at home or do I live at work?"

Workaholic Hotline - 'Come on now, you can do it. Just put down those annual reports and slowly back away...'

"We need a better piling system."

"Looks like we found the issue."

Back to work...

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

Attention Span Remaining: 3 minutes, 27 seconds.

The plan to increase productivity by canceling coffee breaks flopped.

"I like things to be done my way but by somebody else."

That memo you wrote on reducing office emails generated 3,000 new emails.

"How long have you been multitasking?"

Hourglass depicting what time really means.

'Being open-plan allows us to bounce ideas around and communicate more freely as a group.'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

Managing Targets: "It mat be simple but it works for me."

Important and Urgent Tasks and Not Important and Not Urgent Tasks.

Surely there's an easier way of moving files?'

In basket-case.

'It's not your work Hannon - it's your attitude.'

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

Hourglass small at top (time left), big at bottom (stuff to do).

'Perkins does the work of two men, unfortunately both of them are incompetent.'

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

Brigitte devises a way to double her productivity.

'Your report is organized, concise and error free...have you been monotasking again?'

Things you seldom see: "Right so we're agreed that no one ever reads most of these reports so let's not bother writing them,and those forms are a waste of space so lets just bin them as well."

'These graphs represent productivity between free-range and cubicled workers.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Ever feel like there just isn't enough time in the day to delegate all the things you want done?"

Suggestion Box: Get back to work.

"Well, no wonder they're more producive than us."

"Of course you're busy. We're all busy."

"I'm listing my deadlines by due date so I can miss them in chronological order."

"Do you have a minute? And then another minute, and another..."