Productivity Ponderers T-Shirts

GDP and G&T.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'We need to have a shake-up!'

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

'At least I don't have his life.'

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

"When I said you're doing a hell of a job, Krueger, I didn't mean it as a compliment!"

"Sure, but what have you invented lately?"

'U.S. Manufacturing'

Personnel. I figure since every boss tells you to forget everything you learned in school, not learning anything to begin with puts me ahead of the pack.

"We lose more productivity to viral internet memes than we do to actual viruses."

George Santayana

How to boost your work output...

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

"That must be the new 'sit-work' desk."

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'Though we must innovate, and though we must grow, we must never lose sight of our core mediocrities.'