Productivity Guru Pillows

Attention Span Remaining: 3 minutes, 27 seconds.

'I start my day by making a list of everything I need to do . . . and who I can get to do it for me.'

"This project calls for real concentration. Are you still able to monotask?"

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'Tippit, your salary increase will become effective as soon as you do.'

'Cell phones can make you more productive, but only if you turn them off.'

"Productivity is up by 5% since we started playing these motivational tapes."

'A learning experience? When are you gonna have an earning experience?'

"This is our new time manager"

"Cell phones really can increase your efficiency ? just turn them off!"

'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

'The secret of productivity.'

Overheated office where a member of staff is suffering from high temperatures

Woman is surrounded by yellow notes.

She typed more pages, but he stacked his more neatly.

'Susan, hold all calls. I'll be in the office all day.'

'Ah... ok... I think I've found the source of the production slump.'

'Since we switched back to dial up, office productivity has increased. I think the staff grew impatient with the slow internet connections and stopped using the computers for personal use.'

Working Environment

'Or, we could take that anger and do something productive.'

'This either means 'get busy', or I'm damned.'

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

"And lately, I've had this weird self-sabotage sort of thing happening at work. Every time I get all my ducks in a row, I eat 'em!"

"I think you're becoming a workaholic."

'Think department, Doing department, sitting at desk and swing legs department'

'Take her back to work. She can still hold a file.'

"I know eight hours sleep a day is normal... but not at work!"

'Actually, writing lists of the top ten things I do at work, is one of the top ten things I do at work'

'Sorry...(sniff)...Darned rotten cold!'

"To get the most productivity, I'm converting you all to contract employees."

"No, my list of productivity enhancements doesn't include `leave for another company'."

Motivation to work