Procurement Managers Gifts

"I downloaded this public sector tender we should consider bidding for. I’m hoping that these new Procurement Regulations will make it a less tortuous exercise." "Based on that first page I suggest nothing has changed..."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

Made in China

Economy

Manufacturing will take place in China...So what role does Europe have?...you borrow money to be the customer

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"It's simple supply and demand. The shorter the supply, the more money we demand."

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

Personnel. Any experience in crisis management? No...Just production.

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Supply Chain

Coronavirus: Consequences for the economy!

Blowing dust off an order book.

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

How Many It Takes

Low Hanging Fruit

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

Made in China.

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

'This is okay, but my ambition is to be an automatic teller.'

ONE MORNING WHILE GETTING DRESSED,

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

Satis Factory Tour

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

"Aren't you the old guy in purchasing whose decades of slavish devotion inspired us to replace you with a small army of sycophants?"

Production manager with lots of children.

'He works in Acquisitions.'

"I thought I'd be quids-in but I can't shift the bloody stuff."

Bump in the road.

"We've geared up our American company to provide PPE for our healthcare providers, and we need 'Made in the USA' tags to on 'em! Problem is, USA tags are all Made In China."