Probability Punster Prints

Bureau of statistics and probability

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

I think you're ace

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

Dogs life

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

Math Jokes

Hamlet.

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

"Hmmmm. I'll bluff. Then they'll counter-bluff, so if I counter-counter-bluff...password should do it."

"Photons have mass, but their rest mass is zero."

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

'Not too serious just a couple of particles collided.'

Surfin' the web.

Time and money on a seesaw are equals.

Mobile Holmes.

Two particles outside Hadron Collider; 'Fancy getting smashed this evening?'

The Stand-up Petrophysicist...

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

'Well it was fine on the straight but when it hit the last curve the cartoonist lost his perspective!'

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies