Private Sector Workers Mugs

'Come on, sir -- we private sector types have to stick together!'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Quality Control

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"I hate performance review season."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Marry me astronaut

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

Why Cows Leave Home

Blue Origin

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

'I'm still not sure HOW it happened. One minute, we were bouncing ideas off each other, and the next thing I knew, we were using furniture instead!'

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

'You're hired, but remember, you can be replaced by a machine...believe me.'

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

There will be no economics report...our economics reporter got caught in the tech carnage...

Boss to employee: 'I'm downsizing your paycheck.'

'Your job description is fairly simple: Stay in your cubicle and try not to make things worse.'

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

'I hate 'bring your inner child to work day.''

Take a hike.