Private Humorist T-Shirts

'Society of hermits'

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Take me to your Larder!"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Fishing - No. IX

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

Rap-scallions

Double Saxophone

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

Magic Act

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

Dr. Phil takes it home.

Champagne at the hunt

No Instruments Please

"Ding" "Dong"

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."