Prisoner Of Laughs Mugs

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

Prisoner Crossing

When staffing agencies screw up.

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'

'OVERCROWDED-I'll say it's OVERCROWDED!'

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

Convict Decor

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Post Office fraud wing in a prison.

"Look on the bright side. You no longer live with your parents."

Martha bakes with her new friends.

Customs and Examinations.

"Try and give me... happy."

'I suppose you'd like your porridge shaken, not stirred?'

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'They got me for 'hate-texting.''

'Well, I hope you're a people person -- the prisons are very overcrowded.'

'I was told to reach for the stars but when I did, I was arrested for stalking.'

"The other gangs can give you protection. We can give you free wi-fi."

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'That's nothing -- I'm serving THREE sentences concurrently!'

"What do you mean, 'you don't serve porridge?!"

"I cloned a guy in Reno. How 'bout yourself?"