Prison Sentence Pillows

'Wow, I used to be a Master of the Universe too!'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Madoff and devil.

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Prison Romance.

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'These are Martha's Camp Cupcake Muffins - and I've just ordered her new apron from the prison gift shop.'

Prisoner Crossing

Police Lineup Escape

'Other than the fact that you were a trustee at the county jail, do you have any other character references?'

Exhibition for Prisoners

Exposed and imprisoned.

Locking Up Crime

'The chechako sparged rhamnose into his yerba.'

'You can't cash your paychecks until your 6 month probation is satisfactorily over.'

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

"ll I was doing was following my dream...turns out that contravened the restraining order."

Cell division

"You're goin' up the river, Sammy."

'Ask the judge if we can put more than two inmates serving life plus 99 years into one cell!'

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'