Prison Guards T-Shirts

'and you promise not to run off, right?'

'If you think he's bad, just wait till they send in the social workers.'

"When I google myself, the only thing that comes up is my arrest record."

'You're in violation of the dress code, Pendleton!'

HM Scrubways Top Security Chapel.

'Sorry, but none of our entrees are available for takeout.'

Worst escape attempt ever.

'Look at the bright side. You're in a gated community.'

CCTV on torture cage.

"He likes it."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

Night-shift entrance

Madoff and devil.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Freedom Book.

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

'Are you free at the moment?'

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."