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"He's taking the circulation war a bit too seriously."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"They grow up so fast."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

If nobody had invented graphics

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

Taking Credit after Voting against Stimulus

Our Two Parties, Explained

DUNVOTIN

Stephen Fry

Europe and immigration.

Local News in Heaven

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

Tina Turner

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Rock and a Hard Place

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

Newspaper suicide.

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

Bush and his exit 'strategery'

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

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