Principal Pillows

'Ms. Peters, hold all calls. I'm busy implementing yet another hastily conceived and unproven education innovation.'

"I want you to know that the school board is very pleased with your efforts to make this new budget work."

'I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson, but when you've become as excellent of a teacher as you are, you've forfeited your right to retire.'

'She's a new school principal with 'old school' principles.'

"So, if I'm the only art teacher, does that mean I'm head of the department?"

'Before our principal addresses the faculty, there's something important that has to be said.'

Principal: You are here, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

"Do you come here often?"

"I wouldn't say your son is a bad child. He's gifted at disruptive behavior."

'In hindsight, I believe that our oversight was shortsighted...'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Unfortunately, we're approaching the expiration date on our quick-fix solutions.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'I purchased this great book on time management, but with my schedule I don't have the time to read it.'

"I'm desperate to hold on to our good teachers."

'The scores for our latest standardized tests are disappointing. We have to articulate a coherent policy of obfuscation.'

'Do you realize that the only change we have had in this school in the last decade is a change in our phone number?'

'I connected my food processor to my computer, in case I have to eat my words.'

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of random kindness, organized our student files.'

'Angry parents on lines 1,2,3,4 and 5.'

'Then it's agreed! Our mission statement will be to deliver more and better education.'

'We'll discuss your misbehavior in a moment Billy, but in the meantime, why don't you help yourself to a nice piece of candy?'

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

Principal to teacher: 'You've got to get a handle on the screaming and running down the hall. I don't care how afraid you are of your students.'

'Were there any new buzzwords created while I was out to lunch.'

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

'Students are influenced by television, video games, advertising, music, fashion, and their teachers. I'm looking to hire teachers that can reverse that order.'

'Watch out for her. She lets you do all the talking.'

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

'Shall we talk about your unacceptable behavior or shall we go directly to the penalty phase?'

'For the next hour, hold all calls. I'll be practicing tumbling. I have to learn to roll with the punches.'

'If you want to communicate with a disruptive student, learn to hear what isn't being said.'

'...do I want to risk putting up with someone like me?'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.