Princess Fan Mugs

"First you'll have to sign a prenup."

"I knew I should have checked the meter."

Disney Princess 1950s - 3000

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has the best facelift of them all?

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

TV jester.

'The King of what?'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

King and Jester

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"One blackbird pizza?"

Reign Man

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

Beefeater

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

Master of the Universe meets the sugar plumb fairies

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

''Proclaim freedom throughout the land'? -You're kidding, right?'

'When I accepted full responsibility, that was just a manner of speaking!'

"Don't be out late and stay within Wi-Fi-range."

Fairy Godmother

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

'I don't know. Neo-monarchism sounds good...'

Cleopatra

"You call that a KISS?"

"Personally I enjoyed your biting satire!"

"And, because a princess can't be forced to testify against her prince, they lived happily ever after."