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The First Fire Stick

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

Pastries and Candy

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Home Sweet Home

'Are we there yet?'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

OOG & SONS HUNTING & GATHERING

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

'He was a great writer'

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

Jorge Luis Borges

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'If you want to see my resume, it's on my cave wall.'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

'Tell me about your gap year, Mr, Van Winkle,'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'New hope for dysfunctional couples: Read aloud the complete works of Trollope.'

"You said getting to the air B&B would be quick, I didn't think you meant this quick!"

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".