Primitive Palate T-Shirts

"The shell tastes good, but that gooey stuff inside is terrible."

Primitive magician

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

The man who discovered smoke

"The bad news is I didn't get any food. The good news is I got my 100,000 steps in."

"Wine is plant-based food."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

Cave Painter

'Thrilling news yesterday; my nephew's got the Lascaux Caves commission.'

"Cool... I've invented the belt!!"

"It's a wheeble or some such thing, but still no sign of a deoderant."

The Birth of Free Market Economics. I wish I had a rock. I wish I had a stick. (Published originally on August 8, 2005.)

"There's got to be a better way to make butter."

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

'This 'wheel' thing of yours - does it have to be round or will any shape do?'

"I wish I had his I.Q.!"

'This restuarant has really gone downhill. Remember when you used to get a Wet-Nap with your meal?'

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

'It's addicting... I watch it eight hours a day.'

"I'm sorry, but his command of the earth tone palette is pure genius!"

It's called "fire"! Now we can compete in a global economy!

Veggie Hamburgers & Hotdogs. . .Ingredients: vegetables & vegetable byproducts.

'So there's a little grit and some pebbles in your stew -- this is the Stone Age, you kow!'

'They describe the end of the ice age as the Big Brownout. They lost more than 10,000 tonnes of mammoth steaks.'

A cave man blowing down a blowpipe.

New Acquisitions at the Museum of Modern Food

'Ok, so they've made it through to the Stone Age but do you really think they'll make through to the Digital Age?"

"Then again, if we don't move to New York, will we ever be taken seriously as bagels?"

Vegetarian Restaurant.

"Caught nothing today... what are we going to eat?"

Before the Domestication of Cows

Larry regrets being friends with the fifth dentist.