Prickly Conversationalist Mugs

'She doesn't just hold a conversation, she strangles it.'

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

What price beauty?

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"Hey, do you want to be in my bubble?"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."