Price Tag Wrangler T-Shirts

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

High Riders of the Old West

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

"This horse comes with all the hardware necessary to be fully autonomous."

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

"Say, Bart. Break out that ol’ Harmonica App."

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

'Ooo, two strays to add to the database.'

"The $350 we received to stimulate the economy is still missing..."

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'Ever wish we were back on Wall Street?'

Low rates!

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

"...and then the heroic young investor managed to capture the evil high interest rate monster and wrestled him down until he was a mere 5.25%!"

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

Teacher said the C's she put face up indicate slight improvement.

District Budget Meeting: Asprin

'Just when I can make ends meet, you move the ends.'

Sales Clerk tricks woman into an instant merchandise exchange.

"Here, I'll call the credit department for you...you might wanna push 'seven' on here."

'Excuse me while I rub the smoke out of my glass eye.'