Pretzel Party Planner T-Shirts

'I could do that!'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Cocktails on the verandah.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Champagne

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Cardiac Recovery.

Punt Cake

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

We'll have Manhattans...

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

"How should we divide the teams?"

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

Margarita

Party time.

"I'm actually pretty ready for bed."